the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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