I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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