Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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