So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize