You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize