this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize