if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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