Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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