maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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