I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Randomize