I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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