Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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