In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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