My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Barsexuality is the new black.
It's just like the Real World with babies
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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