I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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