SEEEEXXX PLEASE
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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