I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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