i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize