I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
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