Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
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he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
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Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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