4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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