We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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