Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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