I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize