where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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