what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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