I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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