when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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