Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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