Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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