he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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