Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
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yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
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I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
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