i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize