BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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