So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
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The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
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Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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