pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
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His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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