I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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