Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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