Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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