so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Of course I have a pirate flag
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
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