best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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