i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize