i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
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my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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