How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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