is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
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Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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