Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
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