i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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