6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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