I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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