He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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